just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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