He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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