Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
