I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
