i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
