I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
