what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
