i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
