Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
