Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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