is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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