I like my sex mixed with concussions.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
