I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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