go do what you do best...puke behind churches
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
