margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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