But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
