The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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