He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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