Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
