Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
MIDGETS
????
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
