just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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