Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
