i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
