conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
