at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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