Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
