and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
