You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
