He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
