Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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