nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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