He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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