1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
