Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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