they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
