Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
