She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
