bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
