the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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