She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
