so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
