my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
