Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
