sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it's like iHOP with fire
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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