This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
