Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
