I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
