you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
