So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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