so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
