I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
