I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize