a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
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And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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