I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
