saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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