if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
