this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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