I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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