Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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