i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So. Much. Porn.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
