dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
