I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
