3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
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