so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
